Anonymous Until Consent:

Why I stopped sharing photos of my grandchildren with the public

Many of my friends who follow my social media may have observed a change in my sharing habit in the last few years.

Having been a notorious oversharer of my life via photos and prose on Facebook since 2008, I know many of my friends expected me to share continuous photos of the youngest grandchildren, born in the last few years. I may have disappointed more than a few, but please let me explain.

Some of my friends and family are aware of the fact that I passed down my intergenerational trauma to my children through abuse, at my own hands and via my own voice.

I’m not proud of that fact, and I’m actively working on my own psychological issues in an attempt to do better and be a better person who treats people better. But my relationships with my adult children are still not healthy–and that’s my fault.

One of the biggest points of contention between my oldest child and myself was ignited when I shared photos of his children online a decade ago.

That contention remains unresolved.

At the same time I’ve been working on my social media platform as an author, my grandchildren have been growing up in a world that is full of adults that would like to victimize them.

As much as I love to share my life, those people IN my life have not given consent for me to share their lives and photos with the public. Most notably, my grandchildren.

My grandkids range in age from less than a year to 15. None are old enough to make legal decisions for themselves.

I’ve recently made the decision to limit my sharing of my grandchildren to photos that cannot be used to identify them. Certain photos may be shared with family members or those which their parents have specifically shared to publicly share, but I will not be the person making that decision.

I feel STRONGLY about body autonomy and the freedom to direct where images of ourselves are shared, and I want to grant that privilege to my grandchildren.

I have discovered that you CAN take photos that represent a person’s personality without including their faces. I will continue to share those types of photos with their parent’s and their permission.

I apologize for the lack of “cuteness” in my social media profiles in the future, I’ll just have to shoot more photos of baby animals to share. But I do not apologize for leaning into safety and respect of my youngest family members.